Having the Love You Want

During my spring semester in my program, I was enrolled in a Couples Counseling course.  One of the required projects for this course had me reading and creating a presentation on a marriage self-help book.  I perused the section on Amazon looking for a book with solid reviews as this genre was a new one for me.  This is not to say that I wouldn’t benefit from my self-improvement or self-reflection but because fiction and memoirs have always been my reading go-to choices. Also, whenever I think of self-help books, images of Bridget Jones tossing stacks of them into the garbage come to mind.

I ended up selecting Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. and after it arrived, I left it (unread) on the dining room table.  When my husband approached me later than night with an uncharacteristically serious look on his face, I never even connected his concern to the book.  He asked me if everything was okay with us, if there was anything on my mind.  I told him everything was fine and asked if he was good.  He then mentioned the book on the table and then it dawned on me: this poor man, my devoted and loving partner of almost 25 years (this September!), thought I purchased the book because I wasn’t happy.  I explained the situation and we shared a laugh.

As for the book?  It provided some information and activities which might be helpful for those who have the ‘one’ but are looking for ways to be better communicators, friends, and partners so they can get the love they want.  As for me? I’ve already got it (and I say this is the least smug-married way possible!).



  1. Poor Ant. I hope you don’t have to research any intimacy issues! He will seriously get a complex. Hahahah

  2. Ha! He was a trooper. I’m taking Grief Counseling, Drug and Alcohol, and Case Conceptualization this summer so he’s safe!

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